Painitng a Room

Sorry I haven't posted in few days, but if the counter is accurate then only one or two of you have noticed. I haven't had a lot of time to keep up with this lately, but will do better. I've spent the last two days painting a room in my house in preparation for the new addition to the clan. He's due in December and my wife's nesting instincts are demanding everything be done now which is why I've spent every waking, nonworking, moment painting rooms in my house.

My daughter currently has the smallest room in the house and since she and baby brother will be sharing a room for a while we decided to let them share the living room room which is the biggest room in the house and make her current bedroom into the living room. Lots of things to do in preparation for the move which led to my new career as a painter. As I was painting I realized that it was one of those things that looks a whole hell of a lot easier than it is. Which made me think of other things that look easy to do, but in reality are best left to professionals.

1) Giving someone a haircut. Looks easy enough. Cut where it's long, leave the rest alone, and presto...a new haircut. In reality you'd be most likely to make someone look like they were attacked by carnivorous birds. then they'd cry.

2) Driving looks easy. Most of us do it every day. However, there are literally thousands of people who have no business behind the wheel of a car. On my way to work the other day a car swerved into my lane to go around another car that was double parked in their lane. I had to stand on my brake pedal with both feet to avoid a head on collision. The person who had swerved into my lane gave me the finger. If you're reading this I followed you home and now know where you live. Or do I? Makes you wonder doesn't it?

3) Anything technical. I don't know about you, but I have never been able to set up anything at all and have it work as it's supposed to. A great example of this is my new wifi router. I got all excited because I'd be able to use my laptop in any room of my house. The kid at Best Buy told me all I had to do was put the installation CD in my laptop and do what the instructions told me. Piece of cake he said. Everything went fine until the thing asked me for some numbers and I had no idea what it meant. I now have a router, but no wifi.

4)Cooking. On TV they show some chef throw together a three course meal in forty-five minutes. If I try this every pot, pan, utensil, plate, and bowl in my house are on every flat surface in my kitchen. The entree is done before the appetizer, the desert burns, and it takes longer to clean up than Chernobyl.

5)Painting. The inspiration for this column and one of the most aggravating exercises any human has ever invented. It looks easy. How hard can it be? the wall is one color, I want it to be another color, so I'll paint it. Seems logical enough, but no one takes into account the fact that walls meet ceilings and floors which means the paint needs to stop at a certain, exact, point. Since this is harder to do than split atoms it is best left to professionals.

Until Tomorrow--JK